Project: Me

Today I started a very big, super important project:  me.  I automatically feel guilty and big time selfish saying that.  I know when you focus on yourself you can become miserable, but the big picture is that I want to be a better servant of Jesus, wife and mother in that order.  I want to open myself up to God and what God wants for me. I feel like I've lost myself over the past few years.  I've become very "cold" towards relationships and others and this has made me a very yucky person on the inside.  I've been on this treadmill of life that has worn my ass out and gotten me nowhere.  Just days passing.  I think I've just mainly felt overwhelmed w/ life. 
I want to be the best I can be.  The one God created me to be.  I want to feel my best and treat my body like the gift that it is. I want to nourish it the way it was designed to be nourished.  I want peace in my soul. In my head.  I want to put positive energy and time into things that truly matter to my life and my family's life. 
So, now onto the steps I need to take in order to accomplish this:
My Soul:
My day will start out w/ the Word.  Honestly this isn't the first thing I want to do in my day.  or the last.  I am not one who loves to read my Bible.  Blunt I know.  Forgive me Lord.  Hopefully in time I will desire and love the book, but as for now I am forcing myself.  God knows I love Him and I have other ways that I worship Him and allow Him to speak into my life.  I've started the One Year Bible with a friend.  Accountability is key.  I've never read through the Bible in a year.  I'm sure I've read all of the Bible, just never consistently and daily. 
I love church.  Haven't always, but I sure do love the church's we've found.  We go back and forth from ANC to Real Life.  Love both of them and their vision for the body of believers. 
We are in a Restore Group (home group) that allows us to connect with other believers in a more intimate way. It's like a support group. One that we have grown to allow into our ugliest struggles.  We haven't been very good about consistently going b/c of work, kids, etc.  But my goal is to make more of an effort to be there every time. 
I'm going to meditate more.  Spend a few minutes a day trying to quiet my mind.   It's amazing how much energy I gain when I do this. 
My Body: 
When it comes to my body, I don't care as much about how much I weigh - I care about how good and clean I feel.  
I want to have self control in this area.  I need to have self control.  I'm not sure if I'll 86 sugar or meat or dairy or gluten... I need to do something pretty easy because of my schedule.   I'm researching it now.   
Exercising is a major benefit to me personally.  I feel good when I exercise and feel like a achy slob when I don't.   This will be daily.  It might just be a walk around the block, but it will be something. 
I want to look into holistic/eastern medicine for my health care.  
My Work:
I am going to invest more time in growing in my photography.  There is some new editing software I want to learn, some different techniques I want to master.  
I want to photograph more weddings.  
I want to eventually hire an assistant.  

There are other smaller goals I want to accomplish in the year 2013.  That list is being compiled and will be shared as soon as I'm done.  
Wondering -  what are you doing to open yourself up to what He wants for your life?  What will you do to become a better YOU?

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